2.80

Will we ever know

Will we wake up that morning and feel it in our steps

Or when we walk outside to get the morning paper-will we stop

For no apparent reason

And notice something that was there all along

Because when that day comes, I want to know

And maybe I'm being silly, but when you think about it -why wouldn't you?

I would want to make that last hug long and thoughtful

And look deep into their eyes

Call from work and leave a message

Because I know it's what I would want

And even though I couldn't stop it

I'm sorry you erased his voice from the answering machine

I'm sorry the last thing you'll remember him saying was "Don't wait for me"

I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye

But most of all I'm sorry you feel nothing

Because the hardest thing is I bet you wish he knew

So he could have felt it in every step he took and stopped outside and noticed the thing that was there all along

Give his family a meaningful hug, look and embed their faces in his mind

But when it comes to that very last second eveyone knows

Because he stopped where there was no red sign

But there was

A sign only he could see

Telling him he had reached an end

And he drove on because he knew he couldn't do a thing about it

Life is written..

Mirror mirror

I'm done
Done with always feeling like I'm responsible for every little thing that goes wrong
And it's sad that it took me this long to realize
That I can't make everyone happy
Because as selfish as it may sound I'm the only one that I'll have to spend my entire life with
Because when your gone I'll still be here
Cleaning up what you left behind
And with all these pieces I don't know where to begin and end
I won't sit here any longer pittying you
For the things ou didn't have
And I'll take back every little thing you've deprived me of
And I'll be happier
When I can sleep at night knowing I wn't end up like you
Because I've watched you grow old and miserable
And then one day you woke up wanting to chnge thing
When it was all too late
So in another life when we can all meet again
I just want to let you know that I forgive you
Because if i hold all this resentment towards you
I'll push away everything that matters
So be it..I'll forgive everyone and we'll start a clean page
But just promise me you'll visit and you won't stay out to late
And when you take me into your arms again promise to never forget
Because as long as you don't it will never happen again
We'll leave the right ones behind this time
Because everyone deserves to be happy
And even you deserve to get a second chance
So when they ask you to take sides
And you feel pressured and naive
Walk over to the kind faces and remember you're doing the right thing
What you should have done a whole lifetime ago
And when we pass by them
Well this time we'll stop and share a warmth we've never known

you're never starving

It's almost as if my happiness has mood swings

At times I feel so fortunate for the things I have

And then there are those low points

Where everything seems to be a vicious cycle

The good days are filled with a share of self-confidence

The bad days consist of cries in front of my bedroom mirror

And it's those days where I feel most selfish

And throughout my life

I've grown up to respectively admit to my bad habbits

And it's not that I want to get up and never have a bad day again

Because I know they're bound to come

I just wish the good points stayed longer

As I look back I can chronologically repeat every detail of that bad day

But if you ask me about that simple good day

And I remember is feeling -happy

For once..for one small second I can remember it was all okay

And I was content

I didn't want to change anything

I understand now that it's not that I'm unhappy

It's that I want to change everthing

And when I wake up, look into that mirror and think it's going to be another bad day

I'll just have to take a deep breathe and tell myself that I can't chnage everything

It's humanly impossible

And the truth is I know it

Becasue I tried

And it drained me half to death

Smile-- for no reason

And you'll find that you won't be making so many frequent visits to your psychologist

tneger turns to teenager

When it all comes crashing down

A million and one should have's run through your mind

Racing as fast as that car raced

Down the street

And as the tears run down your cheek

They whisper words to keep you calm

And with the people you love you take a moment to realize how fast they could leave

Just as she raced in back to catch him

As we wait for green
The intoxicated fumes come rushing to the left

Just as we left to meet her

And as we arrived
The car sat there

As hepless as I felt inside

And as we wait

My heart begins to beat

Faster and faster

A pace in tune with the cars that pass

I couldn't help but think it would only get worse

He sinks in his chair

As we see the flashing lights coming up

And the night proceeded to never get any better

Just as I had expected

Time eats you up inside

It's means the end is coming

And it's coming.. jet_fast

"On My Own"

I layed on the cold basement floor

Hands wrapped around my face

And I tried to forget what I had just done

I tried to make up for the fact

That as much as I hated you as a person

I was you

And while I had thrown the towel in

I was doing exactly what you would have done

And that was the day

That I cried becasue I was grieving

The fact that I was so torn

And I finally admitted something was wrong

Out-loud for someone to hear

I layed there numb for those moments

Becasue she had walked away

She couldn't help me

No one could

[I intended on making up for lost time]
And now whenever you make your empty comments

I laugh

I laugh at the fact that I stopped fate

Dead in its tracks

Spun it around and gave it back to you

Because I've finally opened my eyes

And left you alone

Because I'm old enough to guess that

If I hold your hand forever

You will never let go

I picked my head up from my hands

And stood with my feet facing in the direction I couldn't see looking from your eyes

I made my way to the steps

And took my first step

On my own

IF I COULD SEE YOU AGAIN

If I could see you agian

I'd sing you the song I've been saving

If I could see you agaian

I'd tell you all the things that happened

Even though you were right there with me

If I could see you again

I'd admit to never really understanding how much you really meant

If I could see you again

I'd have you tell me the same corny jokes you did and I'd laugh even harder

If I could see you again

I'd ask you to look out for us

If I could see you again

I'd never want to let you go

If I could see you again

I'd remeber sitting there in front of you

And having the illusion of your suit jacket moving up and down

And standing over you

Watching your eyes open

And your lips quiver to a smile like mine

Because if I could only see you again

Things would make more sense maybe

To everyone

And you'd make us happy

Like you always used to

I've always imagined how it would have felt if that day when I walked away crying you would turn back and say "I'm right here, I'll always be right here"

Mexican cowboy

If he was really smart

Don't you think he'd be half way around the world studying abroad?

But he's sitting in a stuffy classroom with a bunch of jouveniles

Telling them how stupid they are and how smart he is

Now there's something a little off in this picture..

But that's besides the point, there's a whole heap of people I could be worrying about

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()

I warned her

I really knew all this was about to happen

And I tried not to cave into her demands

And now she thinks I betrayed her

By not telling her something that wasn't even her worries to begin with

And the funny part is--

She doesn't understand why

Because no one will ever undertand

I'll never say

Never

I'll be burried with this secret

Holding it tight

Because no matter how much I hate him

I wouldn't ever wish to let this ruin him

IAnd even when that day comes

And I feel like he deserves to have everyone know

I'll remember how much it doesn't matter and how much it's just not worth it

Not worth everyone looking at him differently

The way I do

The blue ocean lays ahead

It's the promise of a new life, a new start

And my ship began to sink

And my hopes and dreams went down with ...