Will we ever know
Will we wake up that morning and feel it in our steps
Or when we walk outside to get the morning paper-will we stop
For no apparent reason
And notice something that was there all along
Because when that day comes, I want to know
And maybe I'm being silly, but when you think about it -why wouldn't you?
I would want to make that last hug long and thoughtful
And look deep into their eyes
Call from work and leave a message
Because I know it's what I would want
And even though I couldn't stop it
I'm sorry you erased his voice from the answering machine
I'm sorry the last thing you'll remember him saying was "Don't wait for me"
I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye
But most of all I'm sorry you feel nothing
Because the hardest thing is I bet you wish he knew
So he could have felt it in every step he took and stopped outside and noticed the thing that was there all along
Give his family a meaningful hug, look and embed their faces in his mind
But when it comes to that very last second eveyone knows
Because he stopped where there was no red sign
But there was
A sign only he could see
Telling him he had reached an end
And he drove on because he knew he couldn't do a thing about it
Life is written..


Mirror mirror

I'm done
Done with always feeling like I'm responsible for every little thing that goes wrong
And it's sad that it took me this long to realize
That I can't make everyone happy
Because as selfish as it may sound I'm the only one that I'll have to spend my entire life with
Because when your gone I'll still be here
Cleaning up what you left behind
And with all these pieces I don't know where to begin and end
I won't sit here any longer pittying you
For the things ou didn't have
And I'll take back every little thing you've deprived me of
And I'll be happier
When I can sleep at night knowing I wn't end up like you
Because I've watched you grow old and miserable
And then one day you woke up wanting to chnge thing
When it was all too late
So in another life when we can all meet again
I just want to let you know that I forgive you
Because if i hold all this resentment towards you
I'll push away everything that matters
So be it..I'll forgive everyone and we'll start a clean page
But just promise me you'll visit and you won't stay out to late
And when you take me into your arms again promise to never forget
Because as long as you don't it will never happen again
We'll leave the right ones behind this time
Because everyone deserves to be happy
And even you deserve to get a second chance
So when they ask you to take sides
And you feel pressured and naive
Walk over to the kind faces and remember you're doing the right thing
What you should have done a whole lifetime ago
And when we pass by them
Well this time we'll stop and share a warmth we've never known

you're never starving

It's almost as if my happiness has mood swings
At times I feel so fortunate for the things I have
And then there are those low points
Where everything seems to be a vicious cycle
The good days are filled with a share of self-confidence
The bad days consist of cries in front of my bedroom mirror
And it's those days where I feel most selfish
And throughout my life
I've grown up to respectively admit to my bad habbits
And it's not that I want to get up and never have a bad day again
Because I know they're bound to come
I just wish the good points stayed longer
As I look back I can chronologically repeat every detail of that bad day
But if you ask me about that simple good day
And I remember is feeling -happy
For once..for one small second I can remember it was all okay
And I was content
I didn't want to change anything
I understand now that it's not that I'm unhappy
It's that I want to change everthing
And when I wake up, look into that mirror and think it's going to be another bad day
I'll just have to take a deep breathe and tell myself that I can't chnage everything
It's humanly impossible
And the truth is I know it
Becasue I tried
And it drained me half to death
Smile-- for no reason
And you'll find that you won't be making so many frequent visits to your psychologist