2.80

Will we ever know

Will we wake up that morning and feel it in our steps

Or when we walk outside to get the morning paper-will we stop

For no apparent reason

And notice something that was there all along

Because when that day comes, I want to know

And maybe I'm being silly, but when you think about it -why wouldn't you?

I would want to make that last hug long and thoughtful

And look deep into their eyes

Call from work and leave a message

Because I know it's what I would want

And even though I couldn't stop it

I'm sorry you erased his voice from the answering machine

I'm sorry the last thing you'll remember him saying was "Don't wait for me"

I'm sorry you didn't get to say goodbye

But most of all I'm sorry you feel nothing

Because the hardest thing is I bet you wish he knew

So he could have felt it in every step he took and stopped outside and noticed the thing that was there all along

Give his family a meaningful hug, look and embed their faces in his mind

But when it comes to that very last second eveyone knows

Because he stopped where there was no red sign

But there was

A sign only he could see

Telling him he had reached an end

And he drove on because he knew he couldn't do a thing about it

Life is written..

Mirror mirror

I'm done
Done with always feeling like I'm responsible for every little thing that goes wrong
And it's sad that it took me this long to realize
That I can't make everyone happy
Because as selfish as it may sound I'm the only one that I'll have to spend my entire life with
Because when your gone I'll still be here
Cleaning up what you left behind
And with all these pieces I don't know where to begin and end
I won't sit here any longer pittying you
For the things ou didn't have
And I'll take back every little thing you've deprived me of
And I'll be happier
When I can sleep at night knowing I wn't end up like you
Because I've watched you grow old and miserable
And then one day you woke up wanting to chnge thing
When it was all too late
So in another life when we can all meet again
I just want to let you know that I forgive you
Because if i hold all this resentment towards you
I'll push away everything that matters
So be it..I'll forgive everyone and we'll start a clean page
But just promise me you'll visit and you won't stay out to late
And when you take me into your arms again promise to never forget
Because as long as you don't it will never happen again
We'll leave the right ones behind this time
Because everyone deserves to be happy
And even you deserve to get a second chance
So when they ask you to take sides
And you feel pressured and naive
Walk over to the kind faces and remember you're doing the right thing
What you should have done a whole lifetime ago
And when we pass by them
Well this time we'll stop and share a warmth we've never known

you're never starving

It's almost as if my happiness has mood swings

At times I feel so fortunate for the things I have

And then there are those low points

Where everything seems to be a vicious cycle

The good days are filled with a share of self-confidence

The bad days consist of cries in front of my bedroom mirror

And it's those days where I feel most selfish

And throughout my life

I've grown up to respectively admit to my bad habbits

And it's not that I want to get up and never have a bad day again

Because I know they're bound to come

I just wish the good points stayed longer

As I look back I can chronologically repeat every detail of that bad day

But if you ask me about that simple good day

And I remember is feeling -happy

For once..for one small second I can remember it was all okay

And I was content

I didn't want to change anything

I understand now that it's not that I'm unhappy

It's that I want to change everthing

And when I wake up, look into that mirror and think it's going to be another bad day

I'll just have to take a deep breathe and tell myself that I can't chnage everything

It's humanly impossible

And the truth is I know it

Becasue I tried

And it drained me half to death

Smile-- for no reason

And you'll find that you won't be making so many frequent visits to your psychologist