Keep the change..

When you're truly unhappy with yourself what's left?
You can go on each day and tell everyone how fine you are.
They'll tell you "You look good" and brush past you like they made you feel so much better.
Truth is the compliments only make it worse and it makes you think of how much you've failed yourself.
Everyone else seems to be fine with who they are and they except themselves, they even except you.
But for some reason not a bone in your body can make you feel the same way.
Nothing ever makes you smile. When you do it's just to make sure no one gets on your case about always looking so gloomy.
So you fake a smile here and there to make people think everything's okay.
You lay in bed and toss from right to left. Back and forth in your mind you think of all the things that would make you truly happy.
What is it you want in your life?
To be quite frank you haven't got a clue yourself.
What's wrong?
You haven't got a clue why you haven't got a clue.
And to be blantantly honest, no one cares.
The same thing Lilo said from a script to earn some money and now, who would have guessed(or cared for that matter), the guy ends up in jail.
So although I'd hate to agree with a man who hasn't a clue who I am, but Mr. Palminteri was right- nobody cares.
I really don't care if you get it or don't. (laughs)
I get it, and that's what makes me truly happy.


Get it off your chest Part I

Ever had a person in your life all of sudden and
Totally out of the blue a c t d i f f e r e n t
And so different sometimes you just want to yell at them and say
"Quit making it so obvious!"
So at first you just think that they're probably going through some sort of phase
And you brush it off because you've see it happen to a lot to people before
Or you refer back to a similar time when you felt this way about another person
But it ended up being just your imagination, nothing serious
You foget about it and once again
-When you least expect it-
They do something even more suspicious
You try to resist temptation, but you figure it out
And afterwards you feel sick and you would give up anything at that moment
To take back what you just did
You have an internal conflict with yourself and blame yourself for finding out
And you blame that person for making it so easy to detect and discover
So you're stuck feeling emotionally disturbed and mentally scarred
...For who even knows how long.



I wonder what it would take to persieve things in their eyes.
They're so happy and they have so little.
Those little things are what gives them that smile on their face when they wake up each morning.
I wonder what they think of when they close their eyes at night.
Do they dream or imagine a world where they fit in more. Or are they happy with the way things are. Do they know? Do they want to know what it feels to be persay "normal"
And live in a world where people won't always be so willing to give them a helping hand because they feel bad. I don't pitty them.
They live a life more free than anyone else because of their differences. They don't stress over the things that to us seem so important at times. The things we shape our lives around means nothing when you think about it. What is better than to live your life open. Open and so happy.
Happiness is their key and they've found it earlier than others who see them as the odd balls around them.
No odd ball here- just one full of joy, never complaining, and truly greatful person.