Monday

SOS

These days I am beginning to feel like I did two years ago when my depression reached its peak
To cope with the fact that I hated everything and everyone, I began to better myself
And to tell you the God's honest truth it worked for some time
I fooled my mind into believing the smaller the number was on the scale, the happier I'd be
So I dug myself into a hole of detachment
And I laid there for over a year
I detached myself from friends, family, from the entire world itself
All because I thought nothing tasted better than being thin
Today, as I reached for a morsel of cheese
Something took over me
"You're a fat piece of shit" my mind kept telling me
Til I was too disgusted to even look at my plate
I was literally starving
Starving for attention
Starving for happiness
Starving for what I didn't have
And all along never understanding what food had to do with it
In a way it is the only thing I can control
That is until it takes over me

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