Lately I find myself feeling anxious
Like I'm waiting for something to happen
Something that I don't even know about
And the wierd part is, in a sense, I am waiting for things
I'm awaiting answers
To questions I don't understand or am too scared of confronting
Maybe I should have kept my word
Maybe now is a good time to stop lieing to myself about the person I've become
And the hardest part is looking them in the eyes or sharing a laugh with them
Because I know I don't deserve it, because I know I chose wrong
And still did it despite my better knowledge
And when I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I put my hand over the reflection of my face
Partly because I don't want to see myself crying, but more so because I'm so disgusted with myself
Who am I? What have I let myself become?
I am a stranger to myself and I am a prisoner of my own thoughts, sins, & mistakes
It felt good for those moments to feel connected to something
But feelings come in many forms
Happiness, lust, trust, love, betrayal, forgiveness, letting go..

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