G. one

I love him for so many reasons

Each of them wrong and unspoken

Each of them almost immoral

And it's not the fact that I can't chang things, it's that I won't

Or better yet, am not willing to

Maybe because of fear that maybe I will feel more lonely if I were actually alone

If I didn't have someone who told me they loved me even though they didn't have to

Maybe because so much has been said and done

And it feels too hard to have to start all over again with someone else

Or maybe because I would still think about him everyday

And subconsciously compare everyone to him

Because til now he is all that I've ever known

Loneliness is like a disease

It creeps up on you when you least expect it

And it never really goes away

But most of all

Loneliness, like any other disease, doesn't only effect you but everyone around you to

So the real reason why I can't, won't, and shouldn't leave is because I don't want anyone else to suffer watching me turn into someone they thought had left a while ago

Someone they thought could never come back

That someone is my disease

My disease will never go away