Horoscope

Quickie:

Live a more active lifestlye today and you will build up your ego -- so get active!

Overview:

It's a good day for you -- your energy levels are peaking, and you feel better about those weird events of the recent past. See if you can push ahead toward something even bigger and wilder!

(I've never been one to get hung up on these types of things, but this was freaky..)

Leaving Lucifer

"When it's really quiet like this, that's when I truly hate myself.."

This is me, this is all I'll ever be

And maybe it was the fact that someone loved me

Even at my worst

That convinced me to give up

What punishment comes to those who betray God?

Stuck in the tenth level of Hell

One that Dante had forgotten

One that I have created for myself

For those who decieve

The human mind is a funny thing

We proceed to do things we know are wrong

Because it gives us a feeling of exhilaration

I want something different for myself

I have felt the ecstacy of the edge, but now I'd rather be normal

I don't want to continue to feel burdened by my actions

And maybe this time around things will be different and God can forgive me

He is all that I need, My hope

Comradery

Lately I find myself feeling anxious

Like I'm waiting for something to happen

Something that I don't even know about

And the wierd part is, in a sense, I am waiting for things

I'm awaiting answers

To questions I don't understand or am too scared of confronting

Maybe I should have kept my word

Maybe now is a good time to stop lieing to myself about the person I've become

And the hardest part is looking them in the eyes or sharing a laugh with them

Because I know I don't deserve it, because I know I chose wrong

And still did it despite my better knowledge

And when I'm looking at myself in the mirror, I put my hand over the reflection of my face

Partly because I don't want to see myself crying, but more so because I'm so disgusted with myself

Who am I? What have I let myself become?

I am a stranger to myself and I am a prisoner of my own thoughts, sins, & mistakes

It felt good for those moments to feel connected to something

But feelings come in many forms

Happiness, lust, trust, love, betrayal, forgiveness, letting go..

The saddest day

The day she stops pretending

The day she wakes up to only find that the world is filled with monsters

Only they are not as easy to spot as the one's in the closet or under the bed

The day she will blame you for making her believe what you told her was true

Setting her up for disappointment and all along knowing you were only doing it for her own good

And what about the day she tells you she hates you and the world is ripped up from under you

You believe what you are told not out of ignorance, but more or less because of wishful thinking

And somewhere down the line it comes back to bite you in the ass

Because if everyone always got what they wanted pain, suffering, and endurance wouldn't exist

So the saddest day of all is today

The day I chose to let go of something I knew wouldn't work

But in my head I had led myself to believe so

Because maybe I was too scared to look at myself in the mirror and know what kind of person I have become

What about the day she lies straight to your face?

And you come to find she has decieved you in the worst way

She has made her bed and lays in another


"Nothing is easier than self-deciet. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." -Demosthenes

Blocked

If all you wanted was the satisfaction of "winning", well you can have it

It just goes to show the kind of person you are

I hope you're happy, I know I am

My guardian Angel

When I look back I bear in mind all the mistakes I made

Mistakes like thinking "I hope I don't end up like her"

and more importantly believing I was destined to become her

Today her life is as plentiful as any, if not more

And truth is, I would be blessed if my life turned out to be even a quarter of how good hers is

Sometimes people take for granted the smallest of things

Like the simplicity of smiling at the dinner table

Something that seems so natural

So today and for the rest of my life I will be thankful for the fact that God has blessed me with the greatest of family

The most unique

And to my guardian angel who heard my cries, thank you

I now realize the kind of life I want to lead

Something more spiritual, more refined

Being alone has never been so tranquil

It is just what I needed

Brawer family- Things will get better if they have not already ceased to

You're always in my thoughts and prayers

She has changed my life more than you know it

Artie- I made sure to stuff myself for the both of us yesterday

I'm sure our college essay will be liked, if not loved..

The Prayer

I remember a time when I hadn't had much to worry about

And usually the things that worried me even in the slightest manner were not my own worries

To an extent this frustrated me

I guess I thought having worries made your life exciting

I was so wrong for thinking this

At least now I see

Life cannot be measured in the way you spend your Friday nights, or how many friends you have, or even if you've experienced love

Life is not a measurable object, not a force to act upon

Whoever said there were no rules in life must have had it coming to them

There are rules when it comes down to anything, and so there has to be rules to living

I pray now that God forgive me in my time of need

For all the rules I did break

God had blessed me with intellect

And I refused to use it

For so many years God had steered me on the right path

But I chose to walk ahead

And so if this is God's way of letting me know that I have to listen

Well then I'm listening

I'm hoping He will listen too