My Ripple Effect

In six days our prayers couldn't be answered, our voices could not be heard

As we look to God for forgiveness and for the truth

And for some time an entire community was focused on only one thing

Their hearts with one family

And in my dreams I wished for a better tomorrow

But maybe I should have made today count just as much

To make it better and hope that I'd always be around

And never have anything taken away from me so soon

Going home, I would look and applaud the fact that she didn't care what other people said or thought

That she was her own person

All that I needed

I couldn't stop staring

And I took in everything

Every tear she shed I felt with her

And every gasp for air I breathed as well

In the moment

Knowing I wouldn't see anything quite like it for what I hope would be a long time

So I circled 2 days

Two of which I would look back on

And in a time of selfish behavior realize what is important in life

Because now I truly understand what it means when people say 'it could be taken away from you so qickly'

I know we may have never shared a word

And you might have never looked in my direction

But I remeber you

And I'll always have a memory of you

Although it might only have lasted a minute or so

I remeber

And you taught me a very valuable lesson even though I never got to tell you

Because lately I find myself smiling at strangers

Hoping that whomever they are they will

See something that makes no sense

And think about it when they fall asleep

Get up -and do the same

Creating a ripple effect

Recovery

Sometimes I wish people would just say the things they felt

And maybe it would be easier to understand them

The things they do

And it's hard to comprehend why you say the things you do

Sit with a patient for a minute and tell them how you feel about the statistics of it

You'll come out a new person

Because for them- happiness is something that they have created

While it was too hard to find

And I want you to live a little and stop trying to find that answer for everything

Look into their eyes and listen to their words

Make something out of everything

And that's the key

The road to recovery is admitting something is wrong

And then become willing to fix it

But doing it for yourself, not for those around you

Look to the person next to you

Life, like one big round table

Both of them stand there

Each possessing something the other needs

And in a desperate attempt, they find comfort in the fact that nothing is ever as it seems

Perfection was a defect in the system

But the packages still kept rolling in

And one by one the world became a symbol of discontent

Talk to a person you don't know

And trust in them the fact that you are the same

Close your eyes and find it in yourself to let go

Be free. And Climb.

Waking up to Nightmares

Is it the things you are forced to go through in life that makes you different
Does it open your eyes to lifes true value

And if so what happens to the people considered to be lucky

That never have to experience pain or suffering

Because looking deep into his eyes I hear a story

A person who has only so much left to love

But still keeps loving

Or a women who was never amiable

And cashes in her sour taste for something bitter sweet

Or the girl who wishes for something better

Because she sees nothing in what she has

I am calling out for help
I am reaching for a guide to say they understand
And tell me a story of bad dreams that turn out to be good

Because the only thing that seperates me and sanity is myself

The twisted picture I have in my head tells me what I know to be true

And it hears nothing else

But lies,

Lies that make my shadow crouch on cold basement floors

And leave scars to remind myself of who I am

And what I want to be

Act 1 Seen Nothing

It became serious when everyone started not to care anymore

Because as long as they did the more I felt I was trying to keep it up

So although I was helping myself it had a lot to do with the fact that everyone held on so tightly

Shallow, I guess you can say, yes--

But it felt good, for the first time to be noticed

Then slowly everyone started to clear the stage

It wasn't intermission, it was the end

And the beginning of my downfall

It stripped me of my newborn identity

Something I had longed for my entire life

To be someone

To have something everyone wanted

I hadn't comprehended it, but I was setting myself up for something rather uncontrollable

And just when I was on top of the world

I realized It might have only been a map

That the applause died down

And I was standing in front of a closed curtain

So from now on I'm going to start something knowing I wan't it

And if a few good words slip in along the way, well, I can't help it..

Drawing a General Blank

Im sure people will get it one day

They'll understand why I choose to be the way I am

And maybe all the faces will make more sense this time around

Im suppost to shut my mouth as if I don't have a say

Well keep your comments to yourself

And I'll enjoy myself next time

Because I'm never going to let myself fall again

Your indecisive and I'm not about to sit

Wait around until you're happy with the way things are

Maybe everyone else will

They'll stick by your side no matter what

Because you've gotten them all to think your some kind of brother

And I'm sure they feel all warm inside, but I have no plans on moving in this direction

Any longer

And from this point on I would rather be standing still in time

Then have to face another day playing a game of house

But I won't let you have the satisfaction of keeping everything away from me

So if it meant I'd have to dress up a hopeless day

I will

Because the only reason I continue to move on this way

Is because it's too painful to watch them stay

And too hard to let it all slip away

Just for a While

Someday I hope we can all look back

And be reminded of how we might have never realized it

But we got what we always wanted

So I'm not afraid anymore

I know now that no matter how much I try

I can't hault the inevitable

And the funny thing is I really thought I was capable of doing it

I just never comprehended that I was never in the drivers seat

Even though in my heart and mind I felt so

So I learned to smile more these days

Because to be honest it's gotten everyone fooled

And for the first time it feels good to take a back seat

And I find it more thrilling to see things looking in

Rather than being rapped in it

And I laugh now

Not only because they have no idea

But just because their thoughts are so predictable

Their movements too thought out

The truth is -

We are all possibly living a great amount of lives

Though only making it through one

And capable of experiencing it all

But only if you're able to let yourself put the breaks on

And let someone else take the wheel

..just for a while

RailRoads

I can't believe that today I'm the same person who 5 months ago that said "No" and sadly now I'm giving in
Anyone going through the same thing can understand that the worst part is the way you feel after
And too bad you don't have a time machine to go back and think things out first
I call it a lack of judgement
And in this case it happens quite often
From the time you wake till the time your head hits the pillow
You're in a constant battle with yourself
And as the day proceeds things most often tend to go down hill
But so fast you make so many wrong moves because your flustered
We're not the type to think on our feet
Which in these circumstances can be a very bad thing
WE are also faced with the constant struggle
Of knowing in the back of our minds how long it took us to get here
And how quickly we could be left alone again
Felling empty and full of regret
But what we all have to remind ourselves of
Is that in many cases and in many problems we come across
We're are usually our worst enemies
And to blame for the way things turn out
But the beauty of it all is that
We can also be our own saviors
And rise to see a new day
Filled with the tings we've been yearning for so long